A christening and other stories
Parties, The Long Goodbye, and emetophobia.
Very girly to put in a claw clip, crack your knuckles, unbutton your jeans a little, and open a document to write your weekly blog.
My parents stayed at the Chateau this week for a short visit before going south. They were curious what all the fuss was about, what it is that I am interested in enough to write about. They loved it (more than Sunset Tower), plus you can smoke in the rooms.
Being there reminded me how much I love luxurious parties, parties that feel like something terrible and extraordinary could happen at any moment. Back in October, Carter and I had a housewarming party. I love hosting and am really good at it.
We moved in August from South Carthay to another (more) famed neighborhood in LA, Hollywood Heights. Notable previous residents include Bette Davis, Charles Manson, Linda Ronstadt, Kurt Cobain + Courtney Love, and Faulkner. We decided to be courteous and wait for an off night at the Hollywood Bowl before having people over (street parking only). Up the street is the home of Philip Marlowe (played by Elliot Gould) in The Long Goodbye (dir. Robert Altman, 1973), at the top of the High Tower elevator. The only access to the elevator is by key that only residents of Broadview Terrace and Alta Loma Terrace receive.
I first watched The Long Goodbye when I had Covid, right when I sensed that the test would be positive the next morning. I adore a noir, especially one that takes place in the city in which I live. I quickly fell in love with the neighborhood. I would look every day at Zillow and plug in 90068. I checked every day, zooming in on the few streets that Hollywood Heights takes up. One sweltering day last July, a listing came up in the neighborhood. A few days later we had scheduled a showing, the same day we signed the lease. We were the first to see the place and it was ours. Luck o’ the Irish.
Of course, we wanted a big bang to warm our home. By coincidence, the newly upholstered couch that we found on Facebook marketplace for $100 was going to be ready that day. It was kismet. It’s better to have a housewarming, too, in my opinion without everything looking just right. You need space for people to flounce around.
My party shopping list was as follows:
Bay Cities- for olives, wafer cookies, butter, and capers
Monsieur Marcel- for champagne, crackers
McCall's Meat + Fish- for more crackers, for cheese, and assorted accouterments
Domaine LA- for wine
Cookbook Market- for candlesticks
Target- for beer, baby Pellegrino’s, Topo Chico, Spindrift, and paper towels
Ghia from The Oaks probably, and friends brought too. They know I love it. I don’t drink.
Santa Maria Novella- for soap
Frederic Malle- for a candle, of course
Flowers Wholesale- self-explanatory
October is the most perfect month for a party. This was a week in preparation. I didn’t mind it. Your home represents exactly who you are as a person, and I wanted people to feel welcome and also be obsessed with our new place. Who wouldn’t? I can be obsessive about these things. I was diagnosed with OCD at age 11. OCD doesn’t have a lot to do with party planning, but it has a lot to do with why I don’t drink. Everyone is always curious. When I tell people I’m sober, the way they react is almost always the same. “Ohhh wow good for you!” or “Oh really?... Wait, why?” Are people deranged?? What if something terrible had happened to me!! What if I was sober because I had previously had a serious alcohol problem? People should mind their business, but I don't care about sharing. Usually, I don’t go into detail unless someone really is prying and in this case, I’m offering it up here on my blog so I never have to say it again.
My OCD stems from a massive fear of vomiting. I decided it's best for me to never drink, that way I have one less reason for maybe possibly vomiting in my lifetime. I used to have rituals involving the number seven, never the number eight, if it was eight, it had to be nine. For a while, I only ate white foods, just in case I did vomit. It wouldn't be an unpleasant color to look at. I don’t want to get more graphic than that with you, it would be rude. I will say though to never take an iron supplement on an empty stomach, or else you may be dry heaving in front of the Santa Monica farmers market like I was last year.
I have tried alcohol in my lifetime, I just prefer to not partake. I first tried vodka in a basement in high school, (is that how it is for everyone by the way?) it was a joke because the water bottle it was in was empty– or so I thought. I tipped it over into my gullet not thinking anything of it. Suddenly about ¼ teaspoon of vodka was in my mouth. Truly death was before me. My chest was burning and I thought I was going to be drunk instantly. I have not had liquor since then. I have dabbled in wine because I think having a glass is romantic, but still I am afraid to drink more than 3 sips. I have an addictive personality I’m terrified of and have historically used men to make myself feel inhibited, the way I assume alcohol makes people feel and behave. I can do it all sober.
I don’t want to be depressing, this was a letter about parties after all, but a lot of what I previously learned about parties as a young adult involved drinking. Fortunately, I can still have a ball without it. I’ve mastered the mocktail. My current favorite is Sanbitter with club soda.
Every party should feel like this song sounds. Whenever I watch an old movie, much like The Long Goodbye, I wish life felt exactly like it did watching that for the first time, and on this night in October, it did.
I planned to wear my new Balenciaga knit sweater that I’d just had shipped in from Lara Koleji. It is old as fuck and I can tell from the label. As I waited for the arrival of my guests I played this playlist and we put on Rebel Without A Cause in our guestroom which leads to the outside deck. We filled our stainless steel sink with ice and nestled all the drinks inside. I zested citrus to toss in with the olives and served them on silver shell platters.
Around 9 pm people started to trickle in. Close friends will always be the first ones at a party, then acquaintances, then people you don’t know well (or at all). We popped the champs around 10 pm and made everyone watch and cheer. At 11 pm Carter's friends Noah and Danny arrived with lit cigarettes in their mouths and a group of men who I’d only vaguely seen before in tow. Apologizing upon entry, I assured them it was okay to smoke inside. Our windows didn’t have screens so they could stand by them to ash. I loved the idea that people were smoking in our home– a perfect baptism. Talulah brought roses freshly cut from the Lee’s garden. Around 11:45 we all followed to a party up in Beachwood, an early Halloween soiree. Other people that had just been at our party followed suit, too. It was the perfect Hollywood night, one that I crave every weekend, but then they wouldn’t be nearly as special. I watched as people did cocaine under the awning of the outside pool house and though it was bright out from the lights of the city, you could still see all the stars.
The following morning I didn’t mind the ash on the ground, or the many bottles on our stairs leading up to the iron gate. We noticed our friend Nico left a wire chair he made from the muselet. Everything was in its place, our loved ones had perfectly christened our new home.
Coco threw an exceptional party a few months later in December for Christmas. She, like me, also knows how to expertly throw a party. She hung mistletoe and garland in every door frame. Her lover Dylan Hayes made sconces that burned the tail end of a candlestick. Cigarettes were lit inside. She tied red ribbons on all the martini glasses that were to be drank from. I sat on Ari’s lap at the dining table next to Coco and Emma and across from Gaby and Devon. People swarmed all around us. I love to bring gifts to parties and make sure they are on theme for the time of year. For Coco and Dylan, I brought a box of nougats and secured a tiny candlestick and candy cane with red and silver tinsel ribbons. On the way home leaving her neighborhood, there were Christmas lights on every house.
I’ve been working all week so no dispatch on what’s caught my fancy this week. I have a few poems coming out on Monday so keep an eye out for those.
Listen to this and have a pleasant weekend, I hope you attend a party like these.
just stumbled across your profile, its so nice to here about when there's other people with emetephobia out there ❤️ i also used to have number rituals and wouldn't eat colored food
Biiiiiiig party girls